Parenting - the only “job” that doesn’t come with any formal training. Nothing can ever prepare you for it. Yes, we have anti-natal classes, but there is quite a big difference between changing a nappy on a plastic doll compared to a very fragile, active, precious tiny human baby. And unless they brought new-born babies into these classes (never going to happen), we will never get that real experience until it hits us. So instead, we do the very best we can with what we know, leading from our intuition, how our parents might have guided us, as well as any professional support some of us are lucky enough to have gained from our exceptional midwives.
I am a mother of two young boys (three and six), and I can only really describe my experience of being a parent as taking on an obstacle course - you never know what is going to come next, how you’re going to tackle it, or how it’s going to work out. But we all do our best and somehow, manage to make our way through it. It is, however, a never-ending obstacle course, and that I suppose makes it even more challenging and rewarding at the same time.
When new mothers come to me asking advice around parenting, the best advice I can give is, every situation is different and don’t compare yourself to anyone else. Instead do what works best for your family. I cannot stress this enough - do what is right for you.
There is no ‘one-size fits all’ when it comes to parenting. It is tough, it is exhausting. When we start comparing ourselves, or our children, to others, all it will do is increase feelings of anxiety. I’ve been there, we’ve all been there, we are only human and of course we are going to compare ourselves. But I urge all parents to focus on their own children and not worry about what they are or are not doing. Concentrate on all the positive aspects of your family life, change the mind-set, and remember you are amazing, you are doing a wonderful “job” loving your precious wee babies.
-Susannah Marshall